her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
