You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You have to summon your inner elephant
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
