sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize