Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize