did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
