Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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