I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize