am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Enjoy the penises
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
