the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize