she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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