I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize