Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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