Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
