Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
