we made out on top of his cat.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
