i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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