yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
