I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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