I can tuck mytits in my pants
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
