please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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