I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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