cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
