Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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