i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
