just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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