That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
