They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
