dude i'm inner monologue high
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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