We're like a lot better than the average bears
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
