dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I have already put on my inside pants.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
