Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
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it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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