apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You dont lie about slip and slides
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
