when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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