i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize