All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
