theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
