One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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