Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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