Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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