My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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