New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
