i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Do you remember whose house we're in?
jump out the window naked night went bad
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
