we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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