Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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