that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
