i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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