yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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