I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
