So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
