u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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