Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
