I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
