I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
