But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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