BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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