We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
