yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
