my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
