i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
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Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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