Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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